We Put the Fun in Disfunctional
by Miss.Clarissa.Salvatore.TVD
Summary: Years after season four, Damon and Elena have two kids, Aidan and Amanda. Damon isn't very good with kids, so he tries to stay out if their way and vice versa. Till Elena goes away on a trip, leaving Damon to figure out what it means to be a father. Delena, Klaroline, Defan, Stelena
1. Chapter 1

"Are you sure?"

I sighed. This must've been the thirteen billionth time she asks. "Yes, I'm sure!"

Elena glanced at Amanda, our oldest child. Amanda is thirteen, and Aidan is turning nine soon.

"You can watch them alone?"

"I'm going to kick you out of the house." I looked at her dead serious.

Elena wanted to go visit Caroline, who currently lives in Seattle. We're still in Mystic Falls, at the boarding house.

"Fine, fine! I'm going. Just...be careful, stay safe, all that crap."

I kissed her deeply, pressing her against the wall. She returned the kiss, her hands sliding up my shirt.

"Ew! Ya mind?" Amanda shrieked.

I sighed dramatically, pulling away. "Go, I love you."

I kissed her and she kissed me back. "I love you, Damon."

"Are you going to leave or make out with Damon?" Amanda raised an eyebrow.

Amanda is Elena's child, but not mine. Elena had taken the cure, making her human, and had gotten raped.

I killed the guy and she wanted to keep the baby. A couple years ago, Amanda was begging for a brother, so Elena and I adopted Aidan after a lot of begging.

Elena picked her bags and looked back at us. "Make good choices..."

And with that, she left.

I turned to the kids. "So. You guys hungry? Tired?"

They both gave me a look. Legally, I'm their father. But they know I don't get along with kids, so we keep out of each other's way.

Amanda shrugged.

This was going to be a long weekend.


	2. Chapter 2: McDonald's

"Can I tell you a secret?"

I didn't look away from the television.

"No."

"Alright; here it goes..."

I sighed and looked at Aidan. "What. Can you possibly want from me?"

"I'm hungry!" He pouted, tears welling up in his eyes.

I looked at Amanda. "Are you hungry?"

She nodded slowly, giving me a look.

I got up and grabbed my jacket and keys. "We're going out to eat, get in the car."

They both silently stood and ran outside, into my car.

I followed them and got into the car, where Amanda was playing country music.

"What the hell is this?" I turned it to rock.

"Hey!" Amanda scowled. "I was listening to that!"

She turned the country music back on. I switched back to rock.

"I'm going to send you guys to Stefan for the weekend." I threatened.

"No! Stefan has a stick up his ass. Doesn't know how to have fun."

I stifled a laugh. That sounded like my brother. "Don't say that, it's rude."

Aidan snorted from the back seat and leaned over me. He turned the country music back on.

"Would you stop?! Jesus Crist!"

They both looked at me blankly. I reached for the radio hastily and turned the music off.

The rest of the drive was silent. As I pulled into McDonald's they were out of the car rather quickly.

I sighed, following them. As I ordered the food I felt like the start of a bad joke.

A young, hot guy in McDonald's with two crazy kids.

I walked back into the play place and sat at a booth next to Amanda. "Where's Aidan?"

She didn't look up from her phone and just pointed at the playground.

Before I could answer, a blonde bimbo walked over with two kids. She sat the kids down, but kept looking our way.

I raised an eyebrow and picked at Amanda's French fries. "Go get your brother?"

"Why me?"

"Because if you don't, I'll ground you till your mother comes back. Because if you don't, you're going to see my bad side." I glared at her.

She slowly got up and went to go get Aidan.

I huffed and went back to my fries. The blonde bimbo was leaning down, and overflowing out of her shirt.

I grimaced and stared at the table, but she had her eyes on me.

I awkwardly took a bite of my sandwich and she a got up, walking over.

"Are those your kids?"

I nodded silently.

"They're so cute!" She gushed.

I raised an eyebrow at her but just nodded. "Yeah."

She leaned forward a little again, and I had to rip my eyes away from her chest.

Elena, Elena, Elena, I chanted in my head.

In all honesty, after Elena chose me I haven't had the urge to sleep with every hot woman I see.

"I'm Megan." She purred.

"This is McDonald's, not a stripping club." Amanda came and sat next to me, a fake sweet smile on her face.

I looked up at ''Megan'' with an amused expression.

Her cheeks were red as she got up and walked over to her kids.

I looked at Amanda. "Can't you mind your own business?"

"You cheating on mom is my business. She could always go back to Stefan." She pointed out.

Aidan sat across from me, and kicked me in the knee right away. I scowled at him.

"Stop swinging your legs!"

He whined, "why?"

"Because...your kicking me!" I said through clenched teeth.

He sighed dramatically and stopped kicking, and began eating his food.

"Can we call mom when we go home?" Amanda turned to look at me.

I nodded and got up, throwing out the food.

As soon as we got home, I sat on the couch and dialed Elena's number.

"Hey! Everything alright?" Elena answered.

I replied, "Yeah, the kids wanted to call you."

Amanda took the phone from me. "Hey mom! Please come home soon!"

"Why? What's wrong?"

I scowled quietly at Amanda.

She batted her eyelashes at me with a smirk. "Damon can't take care of us! And he was flirting with this girl at McDonald's!"

"I saw it too!" Aidan added.

I took the phone and hung up. "Alright, bedtime."

Amanda sighed. "Listen; we Like you as much as you like us. But we want mom to come back."

"Too bad, she's got the weekend off. Suck it up."

I picked them both up by their feet and they screamed and squealed.

"It's not funny!" I frowned.

I carried them upstairs and to their rooms, literally throwing them into their beds.

Amanda gasped and squeaked as she hit the purple comforter, her long black hair flowing behind her.

Aidan's long bangs fell in front of his grey eyes as he hit the dinosaur comforter.

"Bedtime!" I yelled, shutting off the hallway light.

I was laying in bed, just about asleep when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I groaned. "What?"

Amanda's crystal blue eyes were hard to miss in the moonlight. "I had a bad dream."

I opened my eyes. " 'bout what?"

"Um...mom told me about the doppelgängers and Klaus using them for sacrifices. I had a bad dream I was a doppelgänger."

I frowned. "Well you're obviously not, so...I don't know what you expect me to do about it..."

She stared at me for a moment then began to cry. She ran off to her room.

I sighed and lay back down. "Alright, Then."


	3. Chapter 3: Better than Stefan

After hours of explaining to Elena that I wasn't flirting with the bimbo, I noticed the kids were oddly quiet today.

I went up to Amanda's room. "You awake? It's almost dinner time and you've been in bed all day."

She looked up from her phone and I could see tear stains on her face. "Yeah, I'm awake."

"You okay?" I frowned.

"Don't act like you care." She got up and walked past me, downstairs.

Amanda sounded like her mother. I clicked my tongues in frustration.

As I was walking to Aidan's room, he came out and walked past me. "I know, go downstairs."

I sighed and stood there for a moment before walking downstairs.

"Okay; since you guys came down so late, I guess we have dinner, take showers, then go to bed." I announced.

Amanda sighed. "I already took a shower."

My eyes flickered to Aidan.

"Me too." He looked at me blankly.

I sighed. "Okay. So..."

Amanda got up and popped a movie into the blue-ray player and I shrugged and sat down.

"What are we watching?" I asked.

"Alice in Wonderland." Amanda replied.

I nodded silently.

When the movie was over, Aidan had fallen asleep leaning on my arm.

I grimaced and slowly pushed him to the other side, and his body flopped to the other side of the couch.

Amanda was sitting on the other couch. She looked over at me with tired eyes, and that's when I noticed it was almost midnight.

I had let them stay in their rooms sleeping all day.

I looked at her. "Rude to stare."

"Damon?" She curled her feet up to her body, looking smaller and more innocent then a thirteen year old should.

I looked at her expectantly.

"Why did Alice leave Wonderland?"

I shrugged.

"I mean...she seemed happy there. And her family obviously doesn't care about her, except for her dad. And her dad is gone."

I sighed. "Maybe she was doing what's best instead of what made her happy. The right thing and the easy thing are never the same."

"Is that why you stayed in mom's life even though she said it'll always be Stefan? And that she loves Stefan, not you?"

I tensed up immediately.

"Damon?" She frowned.

I was upstairs in a flash.

I stayed in my room and eventually fell asleep.

I woke up two hours later to check on the kids and they were both asleep.

I stood near Amanda's doorway for a few minutes, before calling Elena.

"Damon? Hey..." She answered.

By the way she sounded, she didn't have a great day either.

"Hey. You alright? You sound...upset." I sighed.

"No, I'm fine. Are you? How are they?"

"Fine, I guess. They're fine, been asleep all day."

"Damon, I miss you." Her voice broke and my heart cracked into pieces.

"So come home." I replied.

"I can't. I promised Caroline I'd stay here for the whole weekend."

I sighed. "You won't come back for me?"

"Damon."

I could almost see the threaten in her voice.

"Lena. Come home. Please."

The other end was silent.

I sighed.

"Damon." Elena said softly. "I love you. Goodnight, get some sleep."

"Alright." I groaned. "I love you. I'll call you tomorrow morning."

"Okay. And Damon? PleaSe actually make an effort with them?"

Crap. "Man, you talked to them, didn't you?"

She laughed. "Amanda called me today."

"Is that why she was in her room?"

"Maybe." She stifled a laugh.

"Ugh, okay. Whatever. I'll take them out tomorrow."

Elena made a pouting noise. "Promise me? I could always send them to Stefan..."

I growled as my eyes narrowed. "I can take care of them! Stefan can back off for once."

Now I was determined to play house with these kids. No way Stefan is better with kids than me.

"Okay. Good luck. Night, Damon. I love you."

Again, with the annoying feeling in my stomach whenever she says she loves me. It's not real. Can't be. Not after she told me it would always be Stefan a couple years ago.

"I love you, Too. Be careful. Stay safe. Tell Klaus if anything happens to you or Caroline I'll rip his heart out and shove it down his throat."

She laughed and hung up.


End file.
